First of all, I love you. If you are reading this post then there are possible two outcomes, I say that a lot of you or I never mention it to you. 2016, has been an over dramatic, over exhausting and irresistibly emotionally haunting ride for me. I went through a horrible mental breakdown; I still remember withdrawing all the cash out of my ATM Card, switching off my phone and sitting in a shitty hotel of Ranchi for three days just to cry my heart out, do drugs, cut myself and sleep, thinking I will probably never wake up again.
I guess I learned a lot of things this year. Starting off from letting people go- I realized just like ‘My favorite song’ most people in life are temporary, they exist to serve a purpose and once it is over, you have to let them go. No matter how hard it is. Someone rightly said, “There is little love in holding on and a little love in letting go.” I think, I’m okay with making few enemies now, not everyone is going to agree with your opinion and ideologies, so it is acceptable to punch some pretty faces.
I, lately, realized that it is okay to keep my private life private because a lot of people are extremely jobless and have nothing to talk about other than, ‘Who is she dating?’, ‘What is she wearing,’ ‘where she throws her tampons.’ People are weird; they ask you to mind your own business and then count calories of your burger. The worst part is, they are so senior you cannot even say “Fuck off dude, that is my burger, my soda with my chips.”
I realized after a 5km jog, 50 crunches, 25 pushups, 100 high jumps,100 jumping jacks that it is crucial to love your bodies and calories need to be burned by exercise and not by regular sex.It was little tough for me, but I realized what is right for me. *SIGH* (I’m over sexualized)
Also, never quit passion. Never let the artist in you die because of work, professional life, being sick, etc. If you are good at making dolls out of cold drink cans, I will drink Red Bull for you.
It is okay not to be happy all the time but do not let small things affect you. ‘Mom made Tinde? Okay eat it’ ‘Boyfriend forgot your birthday?Kill him’ ‘Bestfriend slept with your man? Do the same’ but do not let these things affect you. Cherish bad moments of your life just like you do good ones.
2016 for me was full of wrong crushes, Horrible educational decisions, getting over a failed relationship, realizing that people only approach you when they need you and the biggest thing I learned was that my problems are going to be my problems and I have to solve it. Rest are just the critics; they will either rate your performance as ‘Good’ or ‘Bad.’
I ran into amazing people this year, Some of the best upcoming comedians, Some are pretty good at running a page fun of horrible punny jokes, some are going against all the odds to give India its next best thing. Some are writing about issues people don’t want to talk about, Some are trying to get over their biggest emotional traumas, some are still trying to stop their parents from taking decisions related to their life. I just want to thank every person I ran into this year; you inspired me a lot, and I hope you achieve everything you are dreaming.
Also, looks like PDA, but I want to thank my guy who helped me in getting out of the pit I was staying in, motivated me into doing something with my life. I’m pretty sure if I had not run into you I would have still been that Hippie chick who says ‘Nonveg Jokes’ to get the attention of guys and will do anything for acceptance in their clan. Life looks so much better when I’m around you; you are my Ted Speaker, Opentalker, My Quora top writer, My ‘Flash, ’ and you are someone I look up to whenever I’m in some emotional crisis of my life. My life pretty much revolves around you and I really cannot imagine a better partner than you.
I think best decision you cannot kick start your new year is by making sure that you do not let opinions of other people drive your personality.Also, love yourself, If you deeply want to love someone and want to do good in personal life, always start off by loving yourself, your body and trust your instincts.If you don’t trust yourself, no one else will.
Also, Just to motivate you:-
ठोस मजबूत भरोसा ,अपने सपनो पे करना
जितने मुंह उतनी बातें ,गौर कितनो पे करना
आज लोगों की बारी ,जो कहें के लेने दे
तेरा भी दिन आएगा,उस दिन हिसाब चूका के रहना
Wish you a very happy 2017 !
I got off the bed around usual time. Only instead of going to class for a lecture I took a cab and was on my way to the city. Love is a strong word and has the tendency of making anyone weak with its touch. It makes us do things we never opened ourselves to and probably read about it in books. I got down at the shop and collected around 100 roses, next store I bought a cake, candles, ribbons, and ballons.
I smiled to myself and made my way to the hotel. The room was cozy with a beautiful French window facing lush green gardens. I took all the petals off and arranged it around on the bed, table, sofas, etc. I blew a couple of balloons and lit candle around everywhere. Suddenly my room’s bell rung and a smile came on my face. I knew who was on the other side. Someone I was waiting for.
It was the rush of the moment. I felt his presence after a long time. He looked around the room, and his jaw dropped. Sometimes you run into people whom you are supposed to love with every single beat of your heart, and he was one of them. I just wanted to see him happy and was ready to do whatever it takes to make him feel so. Finally, his eyes settled on my face, and he rubbed his thumb on my lips and kissed me deep. I was able to feel his soft lips on mine and his tongue making its way inside my mouth. His hands were messing my hair up.
He dropped his luggage right over there and climbed on the bed.His hands were working up on me. I was able to feel his hands lift my skirt up. My hands were making way inside his shirt, touching his neck and my nails were digging deep around on his back. His hands were cupping my breasts trying to feel the nipples he was waiting for them to get hard my body was losing its control my body’s needs drove me crazy.
I got on the top of him and grabbed one of the ribbons and tied his hands. A small grin came on my face as I got a little control over his body. I kissed him deep and bit hard on his lips. “Ouch,” he screamed. But I was least bothered about his pain because it was more about my pleasure that day. I kissed his chest, tickle him around his waist line and kept going doing until and reached his cock. It was hard and ready to be taken out of his cage. I slipped his pants down and started playing with his tool.
It was priceless to watch someone who has been the reason behind my multiple orgasms lay helpless, twist around and moan in pleasure. I spit on it and licked his cock and started sucking it like a giant lollipop. I almost choked because old joke hit my head, “Penis is lollipops for grown-ups.” I kept playing with it only to realize that he has been staring at me all this while. What I looked right into his eyes was that bad things are about to happen to me. He ordered me to untie him and get condoms. I rushed to his bag and got him condoms.
I comfortably laid myself on the bed with spread legs giving him free access to my vagina. He smiled and came over me “in your dreams” he said as he grabbed my hair, turned me around on my fours. In one thrust his whole cock was inside me, and I let out a small scream. Which he ignored.
I kept rubbing my vagina while he was fucking me and I believe he wasn’t a fan of it, so he grabbed both of my hands. He started pumping me even harder I was able to feel an orgasm build inside me, and I was trying hard not to come but ‘Ow Hormones, Thou heartless bitch’ I came all over. He finally stopped, I was glad it was over, but it wasn’t. He grabbed my hand asked me to lay down on the table and keep legs on his shoulder. I gulped and did that, He again started fucking me like there was no tomorrow and started rubbing my vagina to increase situation. I was able to feel another quick orgasm build inside me, and within few minutes I came all over. I was not able to stand anymore; My legs were shaking, and I was losing my senses. He asked me to lay down peacefully on the bed and started fucking me again, this time, I knew he was close to an orgasm. The movements tell you a lot about guy’s drive.
I suddenly got up and made him stand. I took off the condom, it was extremely slippery because of my love juices all over it and started sucking his dick hard. His face was giving me all the signs that he is about to cum and moment he was about to I pointed out his tool on my face. The juices were flowing from my face toward my breasts.
I got up and rushed for a quick shower which he later joined. A faint smile was on my face all the time, and so was the Thai food smell all over in our room. We both smiled and left our room together for lunch. Every staff member of the hotel was staring at us. Was it because of screams or because of hickeys all over our neck, I don’t know, but it was the best night we both had in a long while.
We both spent whole evening sleeping, resting in each other’s arms. He asked me “Do you believe in Forever?” and a moment I replied, “I do.” My phone beeped with a message from my mother ‘Your Visa is confirmed you are leaving country next year.’ On the bed of thousand dreams and thousands of lies, one truth could have stopped storms of fights.
I hope you read these blog years from now. While running your hands on my white-streaked hair and sipping from your old coffee mug, one I gave you post that huge fight where I started throwing everything at you in the kitchen. You will be happy to see my head resting on your lap while going throw our old photo albums.
There are small things about you that I will take to my death bed. Like how you adjust your glasses while trying to make a point, how you look away from your computer just to see what I’m up to, how you kiss me in the middle of argument just to divert my mind. Man, small things you do, have a huge impact on my life.
I’ve always been an insecure lover. I’ve always been afraid of losing my partner. With so much baggage it is okay for me to feel this way. People always compliment me having a partner like you. I’m afraid that maybe I’m not good enough for you. I believe you deserve someone better, maybe someone smarter, a little more mature, probably better looking. But as someone rightly said love happens when you least expect it to happen. You fell in love with someone who is filled with flaws. You probably are not looking for someone perfect. You are looking for someone who is ready to love you hopelessly. You have always supported my craziness and insecurity.
There is something about the way you touch me. It is magical. Most erotic memories of ours are always rushing through my mind. I have always cherished the marks you leave behind after making love. I wear those marks with a lot of pride. There is something satanic about the way you look at me. You love the way I beg for mercy from you. You love how restless I become the moment you touch my vagina. I love how you whisper my name in my ears and ask me how badly I want you inside me. Your eyes are hauntingly beautiful.
Every time we have sex I’m able to see so much lust in them. As if you want me to suffer. You want to see me restless. You expect me to be weak on my knees and beg you till I reach my orgasm. I love the craving we share for each other; I love the wildness we possess. I will remember those hot nights and steamy sessions forever. I believe, my body will be long for you forever.
You are Satan, my love.
It has hard to sit by yourself when you have so much going on in your head. My eyes were constantly shifting from looking outside the window and back at my laptop screen. I was waiting for him to message me up. Ultimately, I took my phone and messaged him. Sometimes you really have no clue why you want to talk to someone; you just want to talk to them. You want to have a conversation – just to know what they are up to. I ran my left hand on my neck and stopped right where he left a mark. And whole night was right in front of me all over again.
I was sitting at my friend’s place, putting on glittery nail paint while texting him. I was not able to take the distance anymore. Half drunk that I was, I booked a cab all the way to his place. It was hard for me to even stand but I wanted to see him, my eyes needed him right in front of me. I saw him walking toward me, Out of nowhere I blushed and ran toward him. He held my waist and we went back to his place.
There was something about his place, it was large and beautiful. It had those oil paintings and small chandeliers to give it that old age home finish. He clutched my shoulders tight ‘Welcome aboard’. I sat and talked to his friends for a long while. Everything about him was so alluring – the way he talked, the way he shyly uses to put his hands in jeans pockets and adjust his specs before making any point.
He held my hand and took me to his terrace, it was huge and God bless Bangalore weather, nothing could have been better than that scene. Winds were blowing on my face and Goosebumps were arousing me. I ran my hands on his fountain and came toward terrace edge. We looked right into each others’ eyes and he clutched my hands extremely tight, came close and blew air right on my face and asked me to follow his lead. Next thing I knew, we are dancing together. I don’t know when the last time I laughed so hard was. Finally, the moment came, he held me close and we kissed.
I was able to feel his soft lips on mine. His tongue was making way inside slowly and teeth finding different ways of biting my lips. He finally let me go, but my hands were inside his shirt trying to feel his warmth. We shyly looked away and went inside. We interacted with everyone for a while and then we went inside his bedroom. I ran my hands on his piano; small things were thrown here and there. Phones, chargers, USB cables were all over the bed. His clothes were here and there. I rolled my eyes and jumped on the bed and he did same.
I slid myself into his arms and I felt so relaxed. Finally, maybe for the moment, but he was mine. He kissed my earlobe, followed by my neck and slowly he lowered my top and kissed my neck. I was able to feel his weight on my body now. He was taking control of me, I looked right into his eyes, helplessly – begging him for more. I took off his shirt and bit his shoulder. He didn’t scream, he just smiled and started smooching me deep. And finally he pulled my bra off and started slapping my boobs, he kept doing that, he was enjoying occasional pinching and my legs twisting and turning on the bed. He lowered down my pants and slapped my inner thigh. He was enjoying it. He rolled me on the bed and spanked my ass.
I begged him not to do that, not because I was not enjoying or something but because his friends were still up and I didn’t want them to hear my moans out. But they were not expecting us to play ludo inside anyway. I laughed to myself when I saw him get off the bed and finally I rolled around and started going through emails on my phone when he came over me again and muffled my screams. I was able to feel him making his way inside me. I was running out of breath, I ended up scratching him all over my back. I begged him for not stopping and we kept making love till we sweat. Finally, he was little tired so he asked me to sit on him, He was a machine when it came to sex. It was non-stop and I was struggling to keep myself up.
I was able to feel an orgasm, my knees were weak ,finally, I stopped moving and the moment he took his tool out , he was able to feel my juices all over him. He pinned me to bed again and spooned me. He ran his hands on my legs and spread them and before I could react, his fingers were inside me and I was shaking. He was vigorously moving his fingers inside me and finally when he stopped a pile of juice came out again. I made my way inside washroom to clean myself and realized It is hard for me to even walk. I looked at him angrily and then let out a small smile.
I came back from the washroom and hugged him tight and sleep. Sometimes you can feel someone’s love through the way they sleep with you. I didn’t let me go even for a second and first thing he did moment we woke up was, kiss my forehead. There are different ways of expressing your feelings and I believe this one was his. I got up and got dressed and made my way outside. He came all the way to drop and kissed my cheeks before leaving. Before leaving for work I looked right into his eyes and then ran across the road to get inside my cab.
And that night I knew I was in love and I lived my forever because his eyes were saying something similar too.
Have you ever been in love before?
Have you ever been in lust?
Have you ever wanted someone’s’ memories not to turn into dust
Have you ever longed for someone’s touch so much?
I miss how she use to come close and blow smoke on my face.
I miss how she made me smudge her lipstick in disgrace
I miss how her sharp nails ran on my thigh
I miss the things we do when we were high
How she slowly use to lose herself in my arms
How she was my morning alarm
How her perfume smelled every morning
How she use to wake up my neighbours with moaning
How she use to choke and gasp for air
How I use to drag her and pull her hair
How she always wanted more
How she wanted to be done like never before
I miss how she use to bite her lips longing for kisses
I miss those blinking eyes and those erotic hisses
How she wanted to see my darker side
How she wanted to be submissive still fly like a kite
I miss her eyes and I miss her talks
Now all I see is her lying on the floor
In the pool of blood; on her dead bed
She will never know how many tears I shed
Bangalore | India
I was crossing my legs every now and then. Biting my lips and adjusting my glasses. Sometimes wait for something makes you crazy. Something similar was going on with me. The wait for the weekend ? I don’t know.. but it was making me restless . I was staring at glass windows – again and again. I was looking at every face – how it was so rigidly close to their laptop as if they will kiss it next second.
Moment clock hit the time , I rushed outside and booked the cab. I got in and took a long breath. I realized that a guy was sitting next to me , I smiled at him and we exchanged welcoming gestures. It was Bangalore traffic complimented by Bangalore’s heavy rains. I kept on staring outside. I was getting bored – I turned on my laptop and started watching FRIENDS. I believe it caught his attention – we smiled and I took a look at him all over again. He was wearing a white shirt – which went all see through because of rain – I was able to see his abs – he was a fitness freak , with some visible tattoos and those army brat hair paired with geeky specs. He was one of a kind.
A conversation started off and seemed to be never ending. We had everything in common. Like everything was happening on purpose. It was an hour long journey and once I reached my place I gave him my card and rushed upstairs. Little did I know – I was carrying my room’s key chain all the time in my hand which was screaming my flat number 404.
I got fresh and started off with my regular socializing job. After an hour my bell rang , It was awkward – I knew here and no one knew my place – there was no key hole. I gulped and open the door. I smiled – it was the same guy I shared my cab with. I welcomed him in and started making coffee for him. I walked into` the kitchen and he followed me.
I walked inside the kitchen and he followed me.
He came from back and kissed my neck – moment he started I was losing myself and finally, he blindfolded me and took me to my bedroom. He slowly started taking off my top – there was no point in resisting it – we both wanted it. He came close and bit my neck and lowered my panties. Running my legs on the bed was never more arousing. Finally, he spread them and came in the middle. I was able to feel his breath
“You really are desperate,” He said as he slapped me
He pulled my cheeks and continued “Such an innocent face and look what she is doing”
He pinched my nipples and let out a scream. He rushed and took out his handkerchief and stuffed in my mouth.
“Now you will understand the pain. You are such an easy target.” He inserted his fingers in my pussy and licked it.
“You were sharing a cab with me and now a bed,” He said as he flipped me.
He took my hand and made me touch his hard on. “You are dead tonight”
I let out a moan as I touched that 8-inch monster , he lowered my head and held my ass high and finally he started fucking me from back. A part of me was enjoying it and a part of me was scared , I was able to feel his hand around my asshole , he rubbed my cum over and next thing I knew was that his finger is side me. He was simultaneously fucking my two holes. I was able to feel him go harder than ever. He clutched my hair tight and made me turn around and look at him and spit on me – Finally, he pushed it in and groaned loudly and finally went to the washroom.
The moment he came back I asked him “Why he did that to me ?”
“I knew about you , I know what you are and do not act innocent – you enjoyed it – your hands weren’t tied you could have let go but you didn’t – because you wanted it – Sugar up baby doll , I’ll be your regular visitor now,“ he said and got dressed.
I rushed to washroom for shower and when I came back – he was gone but he left something for me – A Pizza , A Bottle of wine and red roses ; With a note saying ‘See you soon again’