My Forever

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It has hard to sit by yourself when you have so much going on in your head. My eyes were constantly shifting from looking outside the window and back at my laptop screen. I was waiting for him to message me up. Ultimately, I took my phone and messaged him. Sometimes you really have no clue why you want to talk to someone; you just want to talk to them. You want to have a conversation – just to know what they are up to. I ran my left hand on my neck and stopped right where he left a mark. And whole night was right in front of me all over again.

I was sitting at my friend’s place, putting on glittery nail paint while texting him. I was not able to take the distance anymore. Half drunk that I was, I booked a cab all the way to his place. It was hard for me to even stand but I wanted to see him, my eyes needed him right in front of me. I saw him walking toward me, Out of nowhere I blushed and ran toward him. He held my waist and we went back to his place.

There was something about his place, it was large and beautiful. It had those oil paintings and small chandeliers to give it that old age home finish. He clutched my shoulders tight ‘Welcome aboard’. I sat and talked to his friends for a long while. Everything about him was so alluring – the way he talked, the way he shyly uses to put his hands in jeans pockets and adjust his specs before making any point.

He held my hand and took me to his terrace, it was huge and God bless Bangalore weather, nothing could have been better than that scene. Winds were blowing on my face and Goosebumps were arousing me. I ran my hands on his fountain and came toward terrace edge. We looked right into each others’ eyes and he clutched my hands extremely tight, came close and blew air right on my face and asked me to follow his lead. Next thing I knew, we are dancing together. I don’t know when the last time I laughed so hard was. Finally, the moment came, he held me close and we kissed.

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I was able to feel his soft lips on mine. His tongue was making way inside slowly and teeth finding different ways of biting my lips. He finally let me go, but my hands were inside his shirt trying to feel his warmth. We shyly looked away and went inside. We interacted with everyone for a while and then we went inside his bedroom. I ran my hands on his piano; small things were thrown here and there. Phones, chargers, USB cables were all over the bed. His clothes were here and there. I rolled my eyes and jumped on the bed and he did same.

I slid myself into his arms and I felt so relaxed. Finally, maybe for the moment, but he was mine. He kissed my earlobe, followed by my neck and slowly he lowered my top and kissed my neck. I was able to feel his weight on my body now. He was taking control of me, I looked right into his eyes, helplessly – begging him for more. I took off his shirt and bit his shoulder. He didn’t scream, he just smiled and started smooching me deep. And finally he pulled my bra off and started slapping my boobs, he kept doing that, he was enjoying occasional pinching and my legs twisting and turning on the bed. He lowered down my pants and slapped my inner thigh. He was enjoying it. He rolled me on the bed and spanked my ass.

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I begged him not to do that, not because I was not enjoying or something but because his friends were still up and I didn’t want them to hear my moans out. But they were not expecting us to play ludo inside anyway. I laughed to myself when I saw him get off the bed and finally I rolled around and started going through emails on my phone when he came over me again and muffled my screams. I was able to feel him making his way inside me. I was running out of breath, I ended up scratching him all over my back. I begged him for not stopping and we kept making love till we sweat. Finally, he was little tired so he asked me to sit on him, He was a machine when it came to sex. It was non-stop and I was struggling to keep myself up.

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I was able to feel an orgasm, my knees were weak ,finally, I stopped moving and the moment he took his tool out , he was able to feel my juices all over him. He pinned me to bed again and spooned me. He ran his hands on my legs and spread them and before I could react, his fingers were inside me and I was shaking. He was vigorously moving his fingers inside me and finally when he stopped a pile of juice came out again. I made my way inside washroom to clean myself and realized It is hard for me to even walk. I looked at him angrily and then let out a small smile.

I came back from the washroom and hugged him tight and sleep. Sometimes you can feel someone’s love through the way they sleep with you. I didn’t let me go even for a second and first thing he did moment we woke up was, kiss my forehead. There are different ways of expressing your feelings and I believe this one was his. I got up and got dressed and made my way outside. He came all the way to drop and kissed my cheeks before leaving. Before leaving for work I looked right into his eyes and then ran across the road to get inside my cab.

And that night I knew I was in love and I lived my forever because his eyes were saying something similar too.

The Sinful Touch

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Have you ever been in love before?

Have you ever been in lust?

Have you ever wanted someone’s’ memories not to turn into dust

Have you ever longed for someone’s touch so much?

I miss how she use to come close and blow smoke on my face.

I miss how she made me smudge her lipstick in disgrace

I miss how her sharp nails ran on my thigh

I miss the things we do when we were high

How she slowly use to lose herself in my arms

How she was my morning alarm

How her perfume smelled every morning

How she use to wake up my neighbours with moaning

How she use to choke and gasp for air

How I use to drag her and pull her hair

How she always wanted more

How she wanted to be done like never before

I miss how she use to bite her lips  longing for kisses

I miss those blinking eyes and those erotic hisses

How she wanted to see my darker side

How she wanted to be submissive still fly like a kite

I miss her eyes and I miss her talks

Now all I see is her lying on the floor

In the pool of blood; on her dead bed

She will never know how many tears I shed

The CarPooling

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Bangalore | India 

I was crossing my legs every now and then. Biting my lips and adjusting my glasses. Sometimes wait for something makes you crazy. Something similar was going on with me. The wait for the weekend ? I don’t know.. but it was making me restless . I was staring at glass windows – again and again. I was looking at every face – how it was so rigidly close to their laptop as if they will kiss it next second.

Moment clock hit the time , I rushed outside and booked the cab. I got in and took a long breath. I realized that a guy was sitting next to me , I smiled at him and we exchanged welcoming gestures. It was Bangalore traffic complimented by Bangalore’s heavy rains. I kept on staring outside. I was getting bored – I turned on my laptop and started watching FRIENDS. I believe it caught his attention – we smiled and I took a look at him all over again. He was wearing a white shirt – which went all see through because of rain – I was able to see his abs – he was a fitness freak , with some visible tattoos and those army brat hair paired with geeky specs. He was one of a kind.
A conversation started off and seemed to be never ending. We had everything in common. Like everything was happening on purpose. It was an hour long journey and once I reached my place I gave him my card and rushed upstairs. Little did I know – I was carrying my room’s key chain all the time in my hand which was screaming my flat number 404.
I got fresh and started off with my regular socializing job. After an hour my bell rang , It was awkward – I knew here and no one knew my place – there was no key hole. I gulped and open the door. I smiled – it was the same guy I shared my cab with. I welcomed him in and started making coffee for him. I walked into` the kitchen and he followed me.

I walked inside the kitchen and he followed me.
He came from back and kissed my neck – moment he started I was losing myself and finally, he blindfolded me and took me to my bedroom. He slowly started taking off my top – there was no point in resisting it – we both wanted it. He came close and bit my neck and lowered my panties. Running my legs on the bed was never more arousing. Finally, he spread them and came in the middle. I was able to feel his breath
“You really are desperate,” He said as he slapped me

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He pulled my cheeks and continued “Such an innocent face and look what she is doing”
He pinched my nipples and let out a scream. He rushed and took out his handkerchief and stuffed in my mouth.
“Now you will understand the pain. You are such an easy target.” He inserted his fingers in my pussy and licked it.
“You were sharing a cab with me and now a bed,” He said as he flipped me.
He took my hand and made me touch his hard on. “You are dead tonight”
I let out a moan as I touched that 8-inch monster , he lowered my head and held my ass high and finally he started fucking me from back. A part of me was enjoying it and a part of me was scared , I was able to feel his hand around my asshole , he rubbed my cum over and next thing I knew was that his finger is side me. He was simultaneously fucking my two holes. I was able to feel him go harder than ever. He clutched my hair tight and made me turn around and look at him and spit on me – Finally, he pushed it in and groaned loudly and finally went to the washroom.
The moment he came back I asked him “Why he did that to me ?”
“I knew about you , I know what you are and do not act innocent – you enjoyed it – your hands weren’t tied you could have let go but you didn’t – because you wanted it – Sugar up baby doll , I’ll be your regular visitor now,“ he said and got dressed.
I rushed to washroom for shower and when I came back – he was gone but he left something for me – A Pizza , A Bottle of wine and red roses ; With a note saying ‘See you soon again’

The Room Service

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I was looking outside the hotel window ; Finally, storms were hitting hard in Ranchi. I was in love with those little droplets voices I was hearing. I ran my eyes around the room again; It was huge and comfortable – not with all the luxuries one wants but for the kind of rate I got, I was totally fine with it. I finally plugged in my headphones and started listening to “Bohemian Rhapsody” 

My phone vibrated; an expected text from an expected person arrived.
“We are here”
I ran my hands on my phone and closed music player.
Phone vibrated again
“Come in half hour”

I got up and started brushing my hair. I picked up my bag and took out my Black lacy bra with pink embroidery all over it. I straighten my hair and put on my heels. It was hard to stand on 5 inches heels but I was supposed to take that kind of pain. I put on red lipstick and bold eyeliner. I put on the little perfume. I stepped outside the door to check if someone was there.
My phone vibrated again
“501”
I was getting restless, I ran upstairs and knocked at the door.
“Room Service,” I said in a very seductive tone.

A guy opened the door. He was extremely tall and was muscular build with really big eyes and looked right into my eyes. I observed their room, it was little smaller than mine and was having alcohol bottles everywhere. I adjusted my bra and lighten up a smile but they were getting I was uncomfortable. There were two more guys in the room , one with French beard – running his hands on his marriage ring and another one was an old friend – he smiled at me – probably the only good thing that happened to me at that moment.
It was the alcohol or maybe the environment but something about the night was making me warm and sweaty.

I took my robe off and the moment I did one of them gave an understanding nod and two of three left the room saying ‘they will be back in half hour’ I knew what was going to happen next. He closed the door and asked me to face the window.
Chilly windows blew across my face as I gulped in. His hands were on my shorts and he lowered them. He grabbed my ass and kept slapping it till I let out a little scream. He pushed me on the bed and got over me and we started kissing. He constantly kept on kissing me , from my lips to his I was able to see lipstick changing its team to winning the party.

He popped a breast out of my baby doll suit and kept on slapping it , he pinched my breast sometimes to let out some moans and again was back to slapping. Suddenly electricity of the whole place went off. I thought that will stop him .. but it didn’t I was able to hear him unzip and a sound of unwrapping something. I closed my eyes as a tear roll down. He inserted his tool in and smooched me hard to ruffle all my screams and kept doing me until he was tired. I looked at watch again , there were still 10 minutes to his friend show up. I got up to get dressed and went near the window to pick it. He held me by my hair and made me face the window , he kept on making me bend until he reached a certain point and next thing was he doing me from back.

10 seconds after he was done , his friends knocked. I took everything and ran inside the washroom. I came out and I saw him packing his bags. I was confused why he is leaving. I wanted to ask but I thought of skipping the topic. He kissed my forehead and left. I was left with two of his friends out of which one took the key to my room and went to take rest. Another one was packing his bags moment he bent down he saw my thongs. He picked it up and showed it to me , I had no answer. I knew I was supposed to submit myself to him. He smiled and stood in front of me , he was tall build and was like one of that hunk you see in movies. He ran his hands over my lips and used his finger as a hook to open my mouth and stuffed panties in them.

He threw me on the bed and got over me. He opened the drawer and took out a condom. As if things were already planned , as if things were supposed to happen this way. He kept fucking me and biting all over my shoulder. He was least bothered about my pain but after some time, I realized I was not in pain anymore. I was actually enjoying being used by him. Biggest dilemma was , whether I was supposed to be ashamed of myself or not and I realized I was not supposed to be ashamed of my sexuality.

He pushed me away once he was done. I got up , collected my stuff and ran down stairs. A couple of workers noticed me go down but it was too late at night to create a hype about it. The moment I reached my room I threw all my clothes and took a shower and rolled myself in the blanket. It would have been an hour or half of sleep when I realized someone has grabbed me hard. I tried to hold his hands and suddenly I felt a ring , I stopped struggling because I knew who the person was now. I spread my legs and lay there as he filled my holes the way his heart desired , once he was done I rushed to the washroom and slept again.

As the sun let out its first set of ray I wrapped myself in disgrace and shame and ran out of the hotel. Biggest question which I had in my mind was , Though it was all against my will I still enjoyed it , how was I not able to stop them ? Why was it hard for me to imagine that it will not happen again ?
Bigger question which hit me later was when my phone vibrated and messaged asked
“When are you entertaining all of us again ?”

Promises I Promise To Keep

Old School Love: Social Media PDA? Yeah , that actually is part of relationship these days but I promise something little more , something little old school – I promise to write you Love Letters – yeah , those handwritten , typewriter ones , on those colored pages and post them to you. I promise to make handmade cards with weird drawings naming them as us. large (1).jpg
Tasty Food: Sounds like bragging but I’m a pretty nice cook and  I have heard that way to man’s heart is through his stomach – so I promise to always cook something or the other tasty for you. Had a bad day at the office ? It’s me waiting with Rajma Chawal for you and some Kheer tops it !

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Too much sexual experiments: Tasty food = lot of fat , I promise to make sure that your sex life is active and happening. Cupcakes to handcuffs – bring it on. From the parking lot to balcony – we will have it all. large (3).jpg
• Too Many Surprises: Saw a new shirt hanging in your cupboard ? Saw a Royal Enfield waiting for you downstairs ? That will be my kind of thing. I promise to spoil and pamper you so much with surprises that you actually take every step of your life with excitement

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Too Funny: I promise to keep cracking jokes all my life to keep you happy , even if it requires me making fun of my favorite characters from TV Shows. I promise to do lame mimicry of your arch nemesis and boss to make you feel better – trust me , bitching about someone you hate do helps.

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• Sports: Though I’m not a sports fan but I promise to watch matches with you , try to understand the game , be happy about someone winning and do post match judgment with you. Also , I promise to update you with scores and relationship status of your favorite sports person. Also , I promise to play all your favorite games from CS To GTA to NFS.

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• Trips: I promise to plan some or the other exotic weekend getaways for both of us to rediscover the love we have for each other.

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• Equality: There will be days you will be washing my delicate Lingerie and there will be days I will take a car for maintenance – there will be no job assignment on the basis of sex. We share pauper and luxurious moment of our lives equally.

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• Cost Control: No , no going to expensive bars and paying crap loads of taxes. Do You want to have some fun ? We can get the bottles of alcohol – maybe I do a little cosplay for you and we watch my favorite rom-com together. No not-so-mandatory-but-other-couples-do-crap.

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You are allowed to PMS: Yes , you can have your days when I will hug you , spoon you , buy you ice cream and catch all tantrums you throw. I promise to take all your mood swings to keep you happy.

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• I promise to hopelessly love you – when you have teeth – when you don’t , when you have hair and when you are bald , when you like Tinda and when you hate Momos – I promise to love you forever , until and unless , you suddenly lose interest in Samosas or maybe start hating puppies for no reason or stop finding Pandas cute – then I’m sorry – we’ll have to go on our separate ways.

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Love | Lust | Rave | Repeat

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I looked at the club it was like just another night club. A couple of naked girls dancing in the cage and men jacking off their money on those girls. In that 10 second walk from the main gate to my VIP arena, I already felt a couple of hands running on my ass.
But, question was, why I was not reacting to it? Well, it was my third day in Pattaya and I already knew how things roll and it was quite harmless as long as you are in your senses and know little self-defence.
There was pink smoke everywhere, Men carrying drunk chicks back to their place and some negotiating with Pimps and call girls.
“Have you ever been to this club before,” asked Mark as he brought a glass of water for me.
“Remember? I’m a tourist” I whispered in his ear.
Suddenly our lips brushed. I blushed and moved away; he smiled and smooched me down. His hands were lifting my skirt up and he was trying to make me sit on him. I got up and went to the bar.
I was reading faces – somewhere in need of lust, somewhere enjoying their last shot of freedom, some were innocent and some understood the game.
A girl came and stood next to me. “How much are you charging for a night?” She asked

I ran my eyes all over her. Short clothes, flashy makeup, and broken English accent. She was a prostitute and was expecting me to be one too.
“I’m sorry, you are mistaking me for a professional. I’m a tourist” I said and tried to leave the table.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I saw you making out in the private arena so My client over there was asking your rate.” She pointed out at a guy, hugged me and left.

I took a deep breath and went to the floor and started dancing.

I was going solo trying to adjust to the soul of music, letting the beats deep in me and suddenly I felt someone’s breath on my neck. It was the same guy who was that professional’s client. I smiled the moment I saw him.

“Sorry sir, I’m not a call girl,” I said and started dancing in another corner.

“I know, You are not a one night deal. You are lifetime one” he said and started dancing with me.

Our body kept moving with rhythm, I was able to feel his hands running over my body.His hands were lifting my skirt up. His hands were on my inner thigh and his hands were trying to find a way inside me. I smiled and ran my hands on his quarter pants. I was able to feel the bulge.

I kept teasing him for some time. Suddenly a man came with LSD in his hands. He looked at me I was confused. The moment the plan left he grabbed me and smooched me. We started dancing again.

I was able to feel everything blurring in front of me. I kept moving, kept shaking but everything was slowing down in my head. I had a pretty wicked smile on my face.
I took him to my private arena. I sat on him, I was able to feel his hard on. I ran my hands on my dress and within seconds, it was on the floor.

Everything was so fast. He dressing me up again and both on us getting inside a taxi. I was able to absorb every light I saw on the street and everyone was blurring up for me.

He took me to a grand hotel. “Don’t abandon me here tomorrow, I cannot afford this place,” I said as I stepped on my way up. “Don’t worry I own this hotel” He casually said and walked me in.

We walked inside his room and Started taking off my clothes. He looked at me and smiled, he lifted me and took me to swimming pool. It was like a dip in heaven. Like I took birth again. I was still losing my senses and he wrapped his legs around me. I was able to feel him, he was not wearing any underwear. I smiled and ran out of the water.

I wrapped myself in a towel and ran back to the room. After 5 minutes he came back, I was cuddling my blanket when he joined me on the bed.

He rubbed his fingers on my lips “What you want me to do to you ?”

“Make a necklace on my neck with your teeth” and winked at him

“Nothing is sexier than a drugged up angel in hands on satan” he whispered in my ear

“How can I be an angel if I take drugs ?” I asked

“Oh, you innocent soul. You have no clue what I will do to you tonight” he said and flipped me.

He made me bend on all my four and started humping me from back. I felt like my world was coming to an expected end because of aggressive moves he was making. I grabbed him by his neck, almost crying, begging for him to stop.

But that moment I realized why he called himself Satan, his eyes were filled with lust. He was happy watching me suffer. He pulled my hair and pushed me against the wall. He asked me to keep hands on the wall and stuff handkerchief in my mouth. He continued doing me. Once he was tired, he pushed me on the bed and slept over my breasts.

There is something about lust, it gives birth to desire and exclusivity and ultimately, love. You may desire someone for a day or maybe a night but when you are obsessed you started longing for them and want them next to you forever. Inside his devilish acts, I was able to see a side of his which was longing for love and emotions.

After a while I fell asleep but suddenly I woke up, someone was biting my nipples. It was him.“Another round of action, please?” he said and got over me.
After another one hour. We were finally done. I slept like a baby.
After few hours, I woke up in a dark room. I felt horrible sleeping with someone I barely knew. I started running my hands on the wall to find switch and moment I did I saw the whole room was filled with roses and teddy bears.

And left a note ‘Want to give a shot to relationship ?’

Sins on Bed.

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“Excuse me; Can we repeat another Vodka shot for the lady?” Akshay instructed that to waiter

I smiled and raised my glass, asking him to add more.
He left the premises; I and Akshay started our chit chat again.
“So. Like Gurgaon?”
“Actually, No,” I said
He looked puzzled and disappointed. I rubbed my thigh and finally his eyes were on my legs. He looked back right into my eyes. His cheeks were red as if he saw something which he was not supposed to see.
“You distract people a lot” he winked.
The waiter came back with the vodka shot. I smiled and took it in one go. Finally, my dizziness was hitting me hard. I laughed and pulled his chair close.
“I hate crowd, I hate so many people around me. I cannot take this hectic ‘corporate life’ I have some other life goals in my head, better ones, one with a happy ending. I don’t want a deluxe flat in some cyber city or a duplex in Metro hub. My goals are different I want a farmhouse in some hill station waking up to the cuddling love of my life and sun rays hitting our window. I’m not really hush hush city fan”
After 11 more vodka shots Akshay called cheque and took off my heels.
“Are these 5 inches of heels? Oh god! Who wears them? It is like self-torture” He pulled me close and made me walk with him to his car.
The moment we entered car I turned on my playlist and whispered in his ear “Don’t you get turned on by high heels? Or by my really short dress? or by me being so sloshed that no matter what you will do I won’t stop you” I bit his ear and sat back on my seat.
I was able to see sweat beads on his forehead
“Do you remember your address ?” He asked me in very concerned voice.

“Drop me at some OYO room,” said as I wore my heels again.
A small devilish grin formed on his face.

“My flat is 15 minutes from here and I have no roommates, you can stay in one of the rooms. I promise I won’t do any monkey business” He smiled and pinched my cheeks.

“Uhu” I nodded and we made way to his flat.
I liked his apartment, it was so cosy and comfortable. He guided me to his room and I fell on his bed. He smiled and took off my stilettos again. I took his collar and pulled him close and kept looking in his eyes. He moved away and started taking off my earrings. And finally, his hands were on my thigh, touching them, feeling the warmth.
He controlled himself and asked me “You mind if I take your clothes? I mean coat”

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I laughed and threw coat at him, followed by my dress.
He went inside his closet and came back with shirts and boxers. He asked me to get up. He started running his hands on my back and with a pop, he popped open my bra. His hands were slowly rubbing my breasts and suddenly he pinched my nipples.
“OUCH ” I screamed
“Sorry I got distracted,” He said and made me wear his tee
He flipped me around and I got on all four.
‘SMACK’
He slapped my ass.
I bit my lips and tried to get up but I fell again. He took off my bodysuit and started running his hands on my legs, spreading them wide, touching at places he was not supposed to touch.
He came close, finally, the moment I was waiting for. I got up to kiss him but he moved away and made me wear shorts.
I rolled myself in a blanket and slept. He came and made his way in. I came close to him and was talking about life after death. How I don’t want to go through the pains of life, I want one-time death, spot on. No tortures no nothing just a painful death with an accident – no fear of getting old. Tears started dropping through my eyes and he grabbed me and started kissing me.
I was able to feel the taste of beer he had that night his hands made way inside my top and he started pinching my nipples again.
“Say you want it” Akshay screamed. “Say you want it”
“I want you, I want us to have it” I kept moaning
I started biting his neck and pulled his zipper down.

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What happened after next two hours I don’t remember. Next morning I woke up with a headache. I saw him walking inside my room in a towel and then I realized I was naked. My clothes were all over his place. He walked in with a coffee and kissed my nose and tossed me his shirt.

I wore it and started sipping coffee and suddenly whole night hit me again.
I remembered taking off his clothes, I remembered pushing him down on the bed, I remembered blowing him until he moaned his heart out, I remembered him deep inside me in all intense position on could think of.

I held bed corner tight and suddenly it hit me. My head was swinging from the edge when made me gag on his tool. And after a flip, he fucked me on the edge of the bed. I remember riding him biting his back.

I remembered being on all four as he pumped the life out of me and kept thrashing me until and unless I begged him not to do that.
I ran my hands over my shoulder and neck, it was filled with hickeys.
I got up and got dressed. He came inside. I felt pretty embarrassed.

“My Uber is on the way, I’ll be leaving within 10 minutes,” I said without looking into his eyes.

“Cancel it now” he ordered.
Without many efforts, I cancelled it and sat down on the bed.

“I will drop you and maybe we can grab lunch somewhere,” he said and kissed my forehead.

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Maybe that night was just another night he was not in the mood of talking about. I smiled and agreed to whatever he said. We had quiet lunch together at some north Indian restaurant and later he was dropping me home. He saw my male friends standing outside waiting for me.
I got out and made my way inside, my friend hugged me and welcomed me inside.
My phone started vibrating, It was Akshay.

I went downstairs. He asked me to come close. I bent at his window. He held my jaw tight and whispered “You are mine” and smooched me hard. He bit my lip, it was hurting, I was bleeding but the pain was not pain anymore. I was hungry to get drunk with him again.