You don’t know me. I don’t even want you to know me. I just want you to know I’m going through lot of pain these days. I lost my boyfriend a month back because I was not able to give him time. My best friend suicide because she was pregnant and her boyfriend was not ready to support her. I’m only child, I have no siblings. My parents are looking forward to divorce. Not even a single one of them is ready to take care of me. I’m left with 2 options. Die every day or die once and for all. Don’t panic , no one actually loves me or bothers about me. Please continue reading. When I was small my aunt always told me ‘Life is a story that you Co Author with god. There will be moments which will be in your favor and there will be moments that will be in his favor. Don’t cry or try to argue with him He can destroy anything. Words are very powerful my dear. They are the sparks which starts fire. Choose your words wisely.’ I never bother about her crap. I was so much involved into my world and activities.
I grew up as scholar child. Rank one. A+ Grade. Scholarships! I was supposed to be my parents’ trophy. But they never bothered. They were so much involved into their fights and affair with random people that they never had time. With time, Depression and stress I started neglecting my studies. During that time I met him. My childhood best friend. We ended up falling for each other. We started spending most of our time together. His company was not good. At the merely age of fifteen I was chain smoker. I got abortion three times by the age of sixteen. 2 months back a girl joined our high school. My boyfriend got involved into her and ditched me. I was alone, lost and miserable. No one was there to help me out. That night I took all my savings and went to a bar, drank my ass off. Eventually on my way back home I was raped by few guys. Day by day I turned into prostitute and one day my dad came to know about it and asked my mom for immediate divorce and asked her to keep me as I was disgrace for his clan.
Last week my best friend suicide because she was pregnant and her boyfriend called her “Slut” and said that she was carrying someone else’s child. My friend was broken. She was ashamed of herself. She hung herself. That was painful moment for me. Because 10 minutes back she messaged me ‘If things don’t work out in my life. Just follow my steps’ and went offline. I don’t want anyone right now. I donated all my belongings to nearby orphanage. I bought myself a sharp blade. By the time you will read this letter. I won’t be in this word anymore. But I want you to know. Life sucks at times. Things don’t work out. If you are having unhappy childhood work hard and make sure your children don’t have to face such miserable situations. Be strong. Unlike me. I wanted to go to Stanford or Yale and look at me now I’m star up there. Doing nothing. Just sparkling. Regretting that weak one moment of my life.
The girl who don’t exist anymore.