I won’t expect your call
You can flirt with anyone you want
You can remove me from Facebook
You don’t have to recharge my phone
I don’t care if you double date me
You can even sleep with my best friend
I will help you in finding finest prostitute in town
I’m chubby but I don’t eat much
I can make food that can lead to hospital
I’m less materialistic if you have BMW
You don’t even have to favorite my tweets
I laugh at my own jokes so you don’t have to
‘ll randomly show up on your doorstep with flowers and to tell you how much I love you
i won’t pressure you into anything considering the fact I can’t even pressure my mom to get me ice cream at the store
I’ll trust you until you give me a reason not to.
you need someone to talk to ? I’m all ears. Want company? I’ll be right over.
If I say “I love you”, I mean it. If I’m with you, you’re the ONLY one. If I’m not with you, I’m wishing I was.
You won’t have to worry about other guys taking me from you because no one wants me so that definitely won’t happen
I won’t keep you on lockdown. You want to go out? Go ahead just as long as you respect me.
I have no social life so we can hang out whenever it’s convenient for you
I’m not going to walk out if things get difficult. I won’t end things over one fight. I’ll do my best to make this work
I don’t really care what you do as long you keep me posted. Drinking w/ your homies? Cool.. just text me while you’re out.
nobody will try to take me away from you because nobody wants me
uh.. well, at least you won’t be single?
you’ll always be the attractive one. other guys wont be attracted to me. i’m unsociable so i’m free to hang out whenever
I’ll never try to change you. I will completely accept you for who you are and love everything about you.
I’ll play video games with you instead of complain about it
I don’t cheat. I think it’s wrong and I believe if you aren’t happy you should just leave. Save the heartache
I’m fine with sitting on the couch all night and watching baseball with you
I’ll take you to really fancy restaurants like McDonald’s.
i stay home and watch Netflix on the weekends so you wouldn’t have to worry about me cheating on you
I’ll always be willing to work out with you.
I have a huge heart. But that can also be a disadvantage of dating me, because I care about everything too much.
I’ll never cheat on you because I know how that feels and I’d never do that to someone else
I love lingerie, strip clubs, and driving sports cars