Merits Of Dating Me


  • I’m single
  • I won’t expect your call
  • You can flirt with anyone you want
  • You can remove me from Facebook
  • You don’t have to recharge my phone
  • I don’t care if you double date me
  • You can even sleep with my best friend
  • I will help you in finding finest prostitute in town
  • I’m chubby but I don’t eat much
  • I can make food that can lead to hospital
  • I’m less materialistic if you have BMW
  • You don’t even have to favorite my tweets
  • I laugh at my own jokes so you don’t have to
  • ‘ll randomly show up on your doorstep with flowers and to tell you how much I love you
  • i won’t pressure you into anything considering the fact I can’t even pressure my mom to get me ice cream at the store
  • I’ll trust you until you give me a reason not to.
  • you need someone to talk to ? I’m all ears. Want company? I’ll be right over.
  • If I say “I love you”, I mean it. If I’m with you, you’re the ONLY one. If I’m not with you, I’m wishing I was.
  • You won’t have to worry about other guys taking me from you because no one wants me so that definitely won’t happen
  • I won’t keep you on lockdown. You want to go out? Go ahead just as long as you respect me.
  • I have no social life so we can hang out whenever it’s convenient for you
  • I’m not going to walk out if things get difficult. I won’t end things over one fight. I’ll do my best to make this work
  • I don’t really care what you do as long you keep me posted. Drinking w/ your homies? Cool.. just text me while you’re out.
  • nobody will try to take me away from you because nobody wants me
  • uh.. well, at least you won’t be single?
  • you’ll always be the attractive one. other guys wont be attracted to me. i’m unsociable so i’m free to hang out whenever
  • I’ll never try to change you. I will completely accept you for who you are and love everything about you.
  • I’ll play video games with you instead of complain about it
  • I don’t cheat. I think it’s wrong and I believe if you aren’t happy you should just leave. Save the heartache
  • I’m fine with sitting on the couch all night and watching baseball with you
  • I’ll take you to really fancy restaurants like McDonald’s.
  • i stay home and watch Netflix on the weekends so you wouldn’t have to worry about me cheating on you
  • I’ll always be willing to work out with you.
  • I have a huge heart. But that can also be a disadvantage of dating me, because I care about everything too much.
  • I’ll never cheat on you because I know how that feels and I’d never do that to someone else
  • I love lingerie, strip clubs, and driving sports cars

7 thoughts on “Merits Of Dating Me

  1. You are trying to put me in a situation where no man can ever refuse. This is like I won’t even blink before a thought of taking you out emerges from my soul.

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